Most women I work with don’t struggle with weight loss because they don’t care enough, or because they lack discipline.
They struggle because it feels harder than it should.
They know what they should be doing… but doing it consistently is where things fall apart.
After 17 years of coaching women, I’ve seen the same patterns come up again and again.
Not just once or twice, but across hundreds of women who all want to feel fitter, stronger, and more confident.
So I sat down and wrote out the most common things I see holding people back.
There were seven that came up straight away.
I’ve also recorded a podcast episode on this, where I talk through each of these in more detail, so if you prefer listening you can find that here:
This isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about understanding what’s actually getting in your way, and what to do about it.
Why Weight Loss Feels So Hard
Most weight loss struggles come down to a few key things:
- Life feeling busy and overwhelming
- Thinking in all-or-nothing terms
- Being far too hard on yourself
- Getting frustrated by the scales
- Knowing what to do, but not doing it consistently
- Hormones affecting how you feel week to week
- Not fully understanding how food and calories add up
If you can improve even one of these, things often start to feel a lot easier.
1. Feeling Overwhelmed
For so many women, life is very busy.
Work, family, relationships, life admin… it’s a lot.
Then on top of that, you’ve got social media telling you to track everything, eat more protein, avoid ultra processed foods, walk 10,000 steps, lift weights, sleep more, drink more water, start morning routine, buy 15 different supplements, manage your cortisol…
Add in any additional life stress, like poorly family members or kids disrupting your sleep, and t’s no wonder it feels like too much.
So what happens when things get overwhelming?
You go into survival mode.
And when that happens, you (understandably) find it really hard to focus on what’s most helpful long-term.
So instead you focus on what gets you through the day.
Which usually means the habits that would help the most are the first things to go.
What helps with overwhelm?
Instead of trying to do everything, focus on making a few key habits simpler.
That might look like:
- having a few go-to meals you don’t have to think about
- planning your workouts at the start of the week
- treating those workouts like appointments with someone important (which it is – you!) instead of “if I have time”
And just as importantly, how you think about it matters.
If it all feels like a chore, it’s going to be hard to stick to.
If you can start to see workouts as:
- time for yourself
- something that gives you energy
- something that makes life feel easier
…it becomes much easier to keep going.
2. All-or-Nothing Thinking
This is another extremely common struggle. For many women it often stems from diets we’ve done that create rules and restrictions, negatively impact our relationship with food, and make us think we have to do everything perfectly.
When we struggle with all or nothing thinking, one off plan choice can lead to “I’ve ruined it now.”
One biscuit turns into a whole day off track.
One missed workout turns into stopping for weeks.
It feels like failure, but it isn’t.
It’s just a mindset we’ve accidentally built over time.
And it’s one of the biggest things that keeps people stuck, so it’s a very good idea to work on changing it.
What helps all or nothing thinking?
Remembering you don’t need to be perfect.
If at any point you feel off track, you just need your next choice to be a good one.
Progress doesn’t happen when everything goes perfectly.
It happens when you take consistent, messy, imperfect action.
So instead of all or nothing, aim for always something.
Can’t do the gym session you planned? Do 3 quick rounds of squats and push ups at home.
Not enough time for an hour long walk? Popping out for 10 minutes still counts.
Started on a packet of biscuits when you were tired and stressed? Stop on the one you’re on, put the rest back in the cupboard (or the bin if they’re not worth keeping).
Refuse to beat yourself up, make a nutritious choice when you’re next hungry, and keep going.
3. Harsh Self-Talk
A lot of women are far harder on themselves than they realise.
And often, the thinking is: “If I’m hard on myself, I’ll do better.”
But in reality, it usually does the opposite.
It drains your energy and motivation.
It makes everything feel harder and more pressured.
And it often leads to giving up or turning to food to feel better.
What helps with harsh self talk?
Try speaking to yourself the way you would speak to someone you care about.
Us women are so much kinder to others – generally because we know how much kindness and compassion helps people far more than criticism does. And yet when it comes to ourselves, we think being kind is letting us off the hook.
My challenge for you:
Any time you hear that harsh inner voice inside your head, see what happens when you respond with kindness, curiosity and compassion.
If your thoughts are very negative and it feels hard to be kind to yourself, try ladder thoughts.
Instead of jumping straight to something positive that feels hard to believe, try moving one step up.
So instead of:
“My body looks terrible”
You could try:
“This is my body, and I’m working on making it healthier and stronger”
That small shift can make things feel lighter, and make it easier for you to keep going.
4. Knowing What to Do (But Not Doing It)
A lot of women feel stuck here.
So many women have told me: “I know what I should be doing… I’m just not doing it.”
Sometimes that’s true, and this is where online weight loss coaching can help a lot, to uncover the thoughts and patterns that are holding you back.
Often, a big part of the reason women feel stuck with this struggle is because what they think they need to do isn’t realistic.
Many women are under the false impression that to get results they need to:
- eat perfectly
- cook everything from scratch
- never have treats
- always hit their step goal
And this isn’t something anyone can stick to.
What helps?
Often when we feel frustrated with this struggle, we ask ourselves something like “why am I not doing this?”.
And this prompts our brain to think of all the (unfair and untrue) reasons why we are lazy, unmotivated, don’t have enough time, and are destined to never reach our goals.
Instead, a more helpful question to ask is:
What would make this easier?
This gets your brain thinking about practical actions and solutions.
That might be:
- having easier meals planned and available
- planning ahead for evenings
- having less tempting foods in the house and more options in stock that support your goals
Small changes like this make consistency much easier.
5. Misunderstanding the Scales
This one causes a lot of frustration.
You’re working hard, and yet the scales don’t budge.
Sometimes, for no apparent reason, they even go up (incredibly rude)… and it feels like nothing is working.
But most short-term changes in weight are not body fat.
They’re usually water, and caused by things like:
- hormonal fluctuations
- eating more carbs the day before (every gram of carbohydrate stored in the body is stored with 3 grams of water, so if you suddenly have more carbs, it’s common to see a spike on the scale)
- eating more salt (this can also cause water retention)
- stress
- poor sleep
- heavy workouts (muscles require more water during the repair process)
Any of these factors can cause the scale to go up temporarily.
What helps with understanding the scales (and creating progress)?
Look at trends over time, not day to day.
And focus more on what you can control:
- Food intake (look at calories / portion sizes / extra snacks that could be creeping in)
- Protein intake
- Average step count
- Strength training
If these are consistent, progress usually follows – even if the scales don’t show it straight away.
6. Hormones and Motivation
For many women, some weeks feel significantly easier than others.
Some weeks you feel hungrier, more tired, less motivated, and that’s completely normal.
Hormones can affect appetite, energy and mood.
What helps with hormones and motivation?
Plan for those weeks instead of fighting them (or trying to ignore them and then having to deal with the consequences).
Have easier meals ready.
Focus on protein and fibre to keep you full.
Allow some flexibility.
Practice slow and mindful eating as often as you can, whether it’s a normal meal or some chocolate you want to enjoy.
And with exercise – if you don’t feel great, lower the bar.
Whatever you can realistically do is still a win.
That might mean shorter walks, and shorter easier workouts.
In the long term, this can actually help progress – giving your body a week where it’s still moving but at a lower intensity gives it time to recover and come back fresher and stronger in the weeks ahead.
7. Not Understanding Calories
Even when you eat well, it’s still very easy to eat more than your body needs.
Foods like nuts, oils, granola, smoothies, avocado and nut butters are all nutritious and great to eat. But they are also quite calorie dense, and can quickly add up to more than we think.
Research consistently shows that most people underestimate how much they eat, and this is one of the biggest factors that holds women back from reaching their weight loss goals.
What helps?
Spending even just a short time tracking calories, using an app like Nutracheck or My Fitness Pal, can be incredibly useful to do, and many of my clients find this is a game changer for their long term success.
You definitely don’t need to track forever.
But spending some time understanding:
- calories
- protein
- portion sizes
- and how to build a balanced day that suits your body’s calorie needs
can make a big difference.
It gives you awareness and knowledge that you can use for the rest of your life, and that makes everything easier.
Where to Start If This Feels Overwhelming
If you’re reading this and thinking “I relate to this, but where do I begin?!” – start small.
Pick one thing.
It could be:
- plan your meals for a few days
- increase your steps
- add protein to your meals
- decide you will make your next choice a great one anytime you feel ‘off track’ (and not wait until Monday)
Many of my online weight loss coaching clients find that planning their meals is one of the most impactful habits they build. There are some ideas in the graphic below, or you can check out this article for more inspiration:
Balanced Meal Ideas for Healthy Eating
Small changes, done consistently, are what actually move things forward.
To sum up 7 Reasons Women Struggle to Lose Weight (And What Actually Helps)
If weight loss has been feeling harder than it should, often it comes down to a few common patterns.
- Feeling overwhelmed can make even simple habits feel like too much.
- All-or-nothing thinking can turn one small decision into giving up completely.
- Being hard on yourself can drain your motivation rather than build it.
- Things like normal scale fluctuations, or not fully understanding how food adds up, can make it feel like nothing is working, even when it is.
When you start to recognise these patterns, things begin to shift.
You don’t need to do everything perfectly.
You just need to keep showing up and making the next choice a good one.
That’s where real progress happens.
If You Want Support With This
If you’re reading this and recognising yourself in it, you’re not alone.
This is exactly the kind of thing I help my clients with.
Not just what to eat or what workouts to do — but how to make it all fit into your life in a way that feels manageable and sustainable.
If you’d like support with your nutrition, training and consistency, you can find more information about my coaching here:
Online Weight Loss Coaching with Hayley
About the Author
Hayley Plummer is an online weight loss coach based in the UK, with over 17 years of experience helping women improve their health, fitness and relationship with food.
She works with women who want to lose weight in a sustainable way, build strength, and feel more confident – without extreme diets or unrealistic routines.